I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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