yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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