Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
