I'm drive I can fine osifer
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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