We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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