i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i love accidental penises.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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