You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
