how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
