My first STD was from a foam party
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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