I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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