So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
