My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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