I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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