Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
