you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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