Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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