Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
