it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
