I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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