I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you never un-have a 4some
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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