Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
