So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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