Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
