Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
