Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
