I think I died a long time ago.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
