needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
