i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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