Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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