i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
