We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
