I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
