Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
