I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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