She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize