So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
