no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
