There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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