called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
