things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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