Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
