Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
