I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
