if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
