Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize