I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
