he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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