My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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