Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
