Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize