I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
