He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
