he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
