My nipple is on Facebook.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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