we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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