he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
