You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize