butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
