Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
