She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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