I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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