Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
