hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
