i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
